Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
