i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
