when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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