your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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