I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
