i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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