I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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