I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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