We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Randomize
