If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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