yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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