I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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