I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
