I'll bet she douches with gravy.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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