Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
