you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
