Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
