Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
