Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
