mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
