You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
its liver damage thursday
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
