i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
