If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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