I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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