I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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