This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
