the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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