Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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