OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
