fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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