He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
