They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
