I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I think we might need a safe word for this...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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