Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
