It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
