he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
