This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
