Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just pee around me
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize
