I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Your shirt... Was in my pants
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize