just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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