Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
