I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
