Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we made out on top of his cat.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
