Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize