you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
My feet surprised me
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
