What did we do last night that was yellow?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
