I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
birth control should be required to get into college
She's the barista slut.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Randomize
