ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
