worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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