GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
