You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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