I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
