you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
