I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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