I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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