my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My dick has a subreddit
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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