so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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