Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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